Furlough!?

The Presbyterian Center leadership went ahead and announced that all employees are going to have an unpaid one-week "furlough," May 17-23, during which we are not allowed to come in (to the building pictured to the right - in the middle - of the 2nd Street bridge) or work at home. This will cut our pay 2%. It's not clear how this will affect my recently scheduled trip to South Florida for the May 14-17 American Association for Public Opinion Research conference at a posh beachfront hotel in Hollywood, Florida (which was to include some pre-conference training). I have a feeling that will still go through, but I will be volunteering on the final day (Sunday). It's not clear whether the savings (ostensibly half a million dollars) will substantially cut into our deficit (which is said to go as high as $10 million) and whether this means a bunch of people will or will not get laid off in early April. We're told we may know within a week or two (in general). They also made official what we really already knew, that no one will get pay raises next year. Obviously, lots of other people around the country and world are going through this. They ostensibly timed this partly because May was to have three paydays, and people like us who face monthly bills will still get 2 1/2 pay checks in there (we'll see how that goes over with my family and my colleagues). I wonder about all of the many people working to plan the Big Tent conferences in June in Atlanta. They're not going to be told the conferences will be canceled because there isn't enough time. They'll just have to work harder/longer the rest of the time. I've already started to tell clients to expect delays of up to a week because of the furlough.

-- Perry

Family meeting (March)

Stephanie and I went to see Vincent in Indiana, for a family meeting. We had thought he might be coming home, but they wanted to do some more psychological testing – or await the results. Vincent was a little quiet or listless initially, perhaps in part because of his medication – or because of the bad mattresses, they said. Vincent said the second book his Mom had gotten him was so bad he’d spent a lot of time thinking. The three of us talked with Keisha, the social worker. She said Vincent had two diagnoses: impulse control problems and a general diagnosis of mood disorders. He’s been on medication and he is supposed to continue with that and at least every two weeks counseling and have a structured environment. The latter won’t be easy with the possibility of Vincent doing home-schooling and taking on-line classes at home while we’re at work. Stephanie has also been talking of the possibility of Vincent signing up with the IN county where she teaches version of adult-only, at-your-own-pace school. We also continued conversations of what we aspired for at home: Vincent doing his chores including cleaning up, making regular school progress, getting a job and paying token rent, monthly family meetings, all of us getting along better. Vincent wanted to get a job at “Lazer Blaze” after her turns 18 in 6 ½ weeks. But he also continued to talk about how he planned to move out as soon as he turns 18 (not noticing the inconsistency). One thing we didn’t talk about: I still want him to go to bed early, if only so we can go to bed on time; and yet I also don’t want to keep picking him up every night. He also talked about wanting us to bring his friend Samantha with us and hang out with her as he gets out, which we’re not big fans of and doesn’t make us feel good. He gave us a note to give to Sam. He left in time to have a sub that other kids (or staff) had gotten for him – dinner. From daily group therapy, meals, basketball, or whatever, he obviously had gotten to know. He and others come and go but two other kids had been there as long as he had. Although many of the professional staff were obviously not there on the weekends, Keisha and the psychiatrist had apparently seen Vincent on Friday but not then until starting on Monday. On the way out, Keisha showed us not only the activity room where Vincent ate (instead of in the cafeteria), a room (not Vincent’s – Stephanie said it looked like rooms in affordable motels like Knight’s Inn we’ve stayed in), and the gym.

We also talked about billing issues on the way out. They’ll call us back Friday or Saturday to set up a convenient time to take Vincent home. Vincent blew hot and cold about how long he’d be with us, said he’d been under tremendous stress before (partly trying to decide whether to try to go back to his school before he learned he had a 10-day – and probably much longer – instead of a 3-day – suspension. He said we’d get along neither worse nor better than we had been getting along in the meeting. He said he’d work on school, get a job in a couple of months, and do his chores. We’ll see.

P.S. Two big meetings next week, assuming Vincent comes home by the weekend: an 8 a.m. Monday meeting at the school district office (like the one in December) that will help determine Vincent’s schooling fate; and a 2:30 p.m. Friday meeting downtown with court workers that will decide whether Vincent’s gets charged in juvenile court as a result of events last week.

-- Perry

Idol update

We watched almost a whole “American Idol” episode Tuesday night. It was Group 3 of the Top 36 week. Best I thought was Puerto Rican crooner Jorge Nunez (pictured above) belted out Elton John’s “Don’t Let the Sun (Go Down on Me).” In a nod to issues Stephanie’s students face, Nunez’s accent became a topic of debate – and, prompted, he talked briefly in Spanish about how happy he was to be up there. Also excellent were Ju’Not Joyner who sang a sultry “Delilah," and Felicia Barton, who the judges initially rejected after Hollywood week, but called back when a Top 36 slot opened up.

Also solid were country singer Kendall Beard who sang a passable “(This One Is) For the Girls”; sight-impaired Scott MacIntyre who sang “Mandolin Rain”; and Lil Round.

Our peek at the results show Wednesday suggested that Nunez at least had made it through this brutal round and into the Top 12. Of course, all of these goings on this week is new for “Idol” (there was no such thing as the Top 36 last year – viewers didn’t have an impact until faced with the Top 12). Continuing with the new tonight is apparently a round of performers cut during Hollywood week that the judges got to call back. Promising to be fun to watch will Tatiana del Toro, the feisty Puerto Rican who coaxed, cajoled, and coerced the judges into including her into Hollywood week in the first place (and not a terrible singer).

-- Perry

End of the road

Almost two weeks after hearing about it and after several attemps at trying, Stephanie found media confirmation - a story on th e Web site of a paper in a NC small town about a serious traffic accident - of the apparent death of one of the big nemeses of our lives, Vincent's ex-stepmother, "Rosie," who helped mastermind and motivate much of Vincent's father's campaign against us for almost a decade. Rosie always believed that Vincent's father secretly still loved Stephanie - and perhaps he did - and so he had to be especially mean to Stephanie to prove this wrong. Rosie may have legitimately loved - whatever this meant for her - Vincent as a stepson and may have convinced herself that she was the superior mother. But Vincent was also a convenient toy with which to terrorize Stephanie (and therefore Vincent and me). Together, the were quite a pair - both violent, both charming, both excellent liars. Stephanie's father always said that when Stephanie and Vincent left Ohio - despite their efforts to stop this - their marriage couldnt last. Although the trial still loomed, without Stephanie there in person to battle against, why stay together? And sure enough after a few years it became apparent that Rosie had connected with another man. And then we became occasionally involved in complex triangles and squares with Vincent's father, Rosie, and Vincent's father's new sometimes girlfriend. At various times both of these women called Stephanie for aid in legal fights against Vincent's father. And - as I mentioned earlier this week - at one point Rosie got us some money by scaring Vincent's father into catching up with back child support to everyone lest he go to jail (the other woman eventually got him sent to jail). This woman still scares us. The last time I remember seeing her (although Vincent's seen her more recently) was when Vincent and his then half-brother joined one of my side of the family's family reunions in Westerville, OH, and then Vincent stayed over at Rosie's house, then less than a mile from my grandparents' house. But Rosie then moved with her new husband (involved somehow in NASCAR, Vincent's father's and her favorite sport also) to North Carolina (nearby NASCAR racetrack pictured above), and then Vincent became estranged from his brother. More legal fights eventually pushed Vincent's father to ask to prove that he wasn't actually Vincent's would-be half-brother's biological parent, and I don't think Vincent had talked with Tyler (then Tom) for a year or two until he called to talk about his mother's death. Yes - in an accident eerily similar to the one Stephanie's mother was in (except this time the driver at fault was the one injured - and worse) Rosie was apparently driving early one morning and veered off the road, then swung back across and crashed into an oncoming car - but this one was an SUV. When Vincent's father called, he intimated that she had lingered for several days - apparently with little brain function - until folks called it quits. Rosie and Stephanie has always been the same age - but she will now always be 35, two years older than I was when I met Vincent and Stephanie - and his father and Rosie and Tyler. Stephanie and I have long disliked this woman and Stephanie - despite herself - expected she might feel some euphoria if Rosie ever died (she apparently had a very serious and even life-threatening heart condition ever since we met her). But Stephanie says the whole thing has felt curiously anticlimatic - even when - as of tonight - we don't have to take Vincent's father's or Tyler's word for it, since the crash was in the media: http://www.observernewsonline.com/content/view/87613/1/ Rosie of course leaves a teenage son - probably 15 - and husband. A survivor of a difficult childhood, Rosie returned - to be buried - to a childhood home area in Vinton County, OH (where my Grandma spent one of her young years). Stephanie said Vincent's father- who toyed with going back with her at one point - and even Vincent showed little emotion about this news, but I'm afraid that's par for the course with Vincent and his father either way. I myself am not sure what I think although I know one nemesis that we won't be facing in court or in the parking lot again. Three stories to ask us about some day: Stephanie and Rosie's fight in the front yard, Stephanie cowering in the laundry room while Rosie crosses the parking lot, and Rosie on TV shifting pennies back and forth on a table in a fraudulent fund-raising scheme that eventually netted some $40,000 and cosmetic surgery for Rosie (a scheme that we helped finally stop).

-- Perry

Updates and requests

It’s been such a busy day, I only have time to hit the key points:

- Vincent’s still not home. They called and left a message today that they want to schedule a family meeting. Apparently Vincent finally had a one-on-one with a counselor. Stephanie or Vincent also said they want to do some assessments, which may take at least a couple of days. Vincent is not thrilled with this going on.

- I returned to work still recovering from the flu and Stephanie went to work – on one of the three or four most important weeks of the year – when IN schools are for the first time offering their mandatory standardized tests in the spring – and Stephanie must be there to help offer her English as a new language students appropriate and legal accommodations – coming down with my flu (flu virus depicted above). She started taking my medication. If Vincent stays well, he’s lucky he’s missing this part of home life. Of course, it can’t help that Stephanie stayed up all night Thursday night and since flu A is spreading like wildfire here, a lot of those kids Thursday night in the Kosair Hospital emergency room probably also had it.

- Vincent’s father called him on Vincent’s cell phone, which Stephanie currently has, and she answered. In spite of Vincent’s wishes (though he seemed understanding on the phone tonight), Stephanie told his father about the situation. Vincent’s father continued with the same line that she’s doing the right thing – Vincent shouldn’t be making the same mistakes he made. He also confirmed what we had heard a couple of weeks ago but were not able to confirm on the Web – Vincent’s former stepmother – one of the big nemeses of our lives for several years (one of whose legal actions against her ex-husband – Vincent’s father – caused him to catch up with back child support several years ago) – who apparently had bad heart troubles – died instead as a result of injuries in a car accident – in North Carolina – where she lived with her son (Vincent’s ex-half brother) and her husband – and was buried – ironically – in Vinton Co., OH – near where she grew up).

- Ironically, also today, we got a notice from the Franklin County, OH child support agency saying that Vincent’s child support will end on his 18th birthday – in a month and a half – unless Stephanie wants to elongate it through Vincent’s projected graduation date. Just showing you how little child support was expected – Stephanie said about $150 a month – Vincent’s father hasn’t paid child support for pretty much his entire time in high school and Vincent’s father is still only $5,500 in “arrears.” Vincent’s father claimed to have sent in a little money, but Stephanie will never see any of that $5,500.

- Even though I am still recovering, I went into a meeting with four others that I was concerned about this afternoon and talked almost non-stop for 45 minutes plus – explaining an evaluation research process we’d been using – and – although others were quick to want to tweek it around the edges. – I think I explained the process adequately enough so that folks – who’d been having trouble understanding it – get how we were doing it. After I finish getting out the surveys for this next review, it will no longer be my baby. One of the reasons why I thought it was important to go in for that meeting was that the rumors of mass layoffs continue – perhaps in early April. I joked with one of my colleagues that I’m slated to be in Guatemala on April 1, and so perhaps they’ll try to lay me off then. But, because I’ll be out of the country, maybe they will decide to skip it. This colleague said that this colleague continues to think that more pay cuts and furloughs for all, rather than mass layoffs are what’s in store. Earlier, this colleague had said – if there are layoffs- they’re more likely to be strategic – knocking out whole units – rather than across-the-board every unit must lose a position/a person. But the colleague said the colleague’s heard of no whole units on the chopping block (most recently, they did away with the Media Services unit).

- Friends and family from church, school, Facebook, and elsewhere continue to amaze us with your prayers, phone calls, e-mails, hugs (not so much hugs when we’re sick), and even food. More and more people also open to us about challenges they’ve faced with kids and other family members (a friend talked with me about using the same KY process with one of her parents – the parent stayed on for some months). We covet and cherish all of this love and support. Tonight I would ask for prayers for the many staff and residents as they work with Vincent and us to help Vincent rethink some of the directions in his life. I would also ask for prayers for the leaders of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) as they struggle with how to respond to the decline in giving and the church’s investment income. And I would ask for healing for our family – for the blurry vision that has apparently accompanied Vincent being on new medication, for the neck/back/shoulder injury of mine that has returned with a vengeance, and especially for Stephanie’s recovery from the flu. And may all the students at Stephanie’s school come prepared to do their best on these standardized tests this week – tests that Stephanie and her colleagues agree seem significantly harder than last fall’s version. Do your best!

P.S. Stephanie also talked with the high school counselor at Vincent’s school, who said - if I remember right – Vincent currently has 18 (full-year) credits and needs 22 graduate. If he took the required classes – back Western Civ, back first-semester Senior English, and second-semester Senior English, then he’d have 19.5 credits – meaning he’d need 2.5 more credits – five semester-long classes of electives to graduate. She and Stephanie also discussed the homeschooling option. No longer at Brown, Vincent no longer has to worry about a Senior project, but he still has to put together with a state required Senior writing portfolio, something for which it’s remotely possible we can still work with his English teacher on. Incidentally, it may finally warm up later this week. With mandatory dog-walking by at least one of us (when both of us are in one stage of illness or the other) and with my car’s heat essentially not working, the weather hasn’t helped our health or mood this past week. Stephanie’s back has been bothering her for months, on top of everything else.

-- Perry

Over the river

I woke Saturday morning - having slept 12 hours - realizing I was getting sicker, rather than better. Stephanie took my temperature (101 degrees) and then took me to the doctor, where I eventually laid down and fell asleep on the floor during a two-hour wait. The staff there said I have flu A, which is a virus. But they said 101 is not super dangerous and I should take Tylenol for that and prescribed some medication to speed up healing. While I was still at the doctor's office, Stephanie went ahead and left - an hour early - to go to see Vincent, which has a twice a-week family vistation from 2:30 to 3:30 p.m. There was a traffic jam on I-65, and so she went around on the Sherman Minton bridge, which she used to take every morning on her way to work. She still got there early and waited until 2:30 p.m. to go into a big room and sit with Vincent at a table. Vincent said he was bored. He was actually thinking enough about his future to wonder if all this would make it hard to go to college or get a job (I think theThursday's problems might pose more of a college admissions challenge). Since he'd been there only since Friday, he hadn't seen an individual couneselor. He had done some group therapy and started taking medication. He wondered if the medication made him sleepy but then again going sleepless Thursday night may have contributed to that. Being without his cell phone (which of course helped get him into trouble in the first place) and allowed only to talk with his friend 10 minutes a day (on their phones) are both bugging him. Some of the facilities the Web site touts (rock climbing, treadmill) aren't working. Vincent did play basketball. He rebuffed somebody threatening him by saying - don't you know they're watching us? He said everyone else there is crazy - he's the only normal one. He also said that some people prefer being there than being at home (apparently not him). Apparently they have an elaborate point system - much like what we'd done at home at some points in the past, and Vincent is at the highest point level. If you lose all of your points, you get transferred to an even more secure facility. (Vincent also said the food is a step above school cafeteria food (though the menu sounds pretty similar.) I've been thinking that this would be my one opportunity to visit Vincent, but who knows? We haven't talked with anyone involved in Vincent's treatment since Friday morning. Hopefully, he'll be able to do some one-on-one counseling Monday.

-- Perry

Congrats, Secretary Locke!

After having two Commerce Secretary nominees not work out, President Obama selected a third Asian American to join his Cabinet: former Washington (state) Governor Gary Locke (pictured above with Obama at the annoucenemnt, a Chinese American (joining VA secretary Shinseki and Energy secretary Chu). Locke has done some international business consulting since he was governor. Also in the news this week was another Asian American politician, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. Jindal, mentioned as a possible 2012 presidential candidate, gave the televised Republican response to President Obama's speech to Congress, is one of the Republican governors who's threatening not to use small parts of the stimulus package money that their states would qualify for. The stimulus - and certainly President Obama's budget including health care and energy initiatives - are providing a rallying cry for Republicans. On the other hand, another 2012 prospect, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, has been a stimlus proponent and says his state will use all the money. Even another 2012 prospect, MN Governor Tim Pawlenty, says that although he doesn't agree with everything in the stimulus, an underlying problem he has is how much more money flows out of MN to the federal government than comes back in spending and programs. Obviously, turning down government money would only make that worse.

-- Perry