Super Teacher

My students have been reading about Gluskabe, a cultural hero of the Abenaki Native Americans. We will be performing the play “Gluskabe and Old Man Winter” in a few weeks. (We have some major rehearsals to do first.) As a writing project we made up our own heroes. The heroes could not be heroes that other people had already created, i.e. Batman, Superman, Spiderman. My students had to draw their hero and then describe why they were heroes and their super powers. We did a discussion about real life heroes like the airplane pilot who landed in the Hudson River and the ship captain who gave himself up to Somali pirates.

Often I give my students instructions and then help, but this time they were rushing through their drawing and not putting thought into it (except to try and draw Spiderman). I decided to sit down with them and do my own as they worked (they love this where they can see what I'm doing and try and out do me). So I created...Super Teacher!

Here is my description of Super Teacher. Some of the details were added AFTER the students have left the room.

It is unknown where Super Teacher really comes from. Some people say Mars, some say Saturn, but it is clear Super Teacher could never come from Earth. Her powers are uncanny and no one can compete with her undying devotion to her calling.

She is able to stop running students with a single word. She can see cheating students from across the room. She is able to get EVERY parent to show up for parent-teacher conferences with a single note. She can erase white boards with her mind. She can understand administrations directions, spoken and unspoken, in a single listen. She knows who is writing notes to pass just by the sound of the pencil on the paper.

Super Teacher is able to be in three places at the same time: in the workroom making copies, in the classroom with students, and in case conferences with troubled students. She flies to work, so is never late or stuck in traffic. She can control time so she has time to plan, grade, curriculum map, hold conferences, write notes to parents, organize field trips, call social service agencies to help struggling parents and students, attend school board meetings, be on curriculum design committees, AND have a family, attend church, volunteer, exercise, garden, and attend cultural events.

Super Teacher also has the ability to mesmerize students. She walks into the room and all talking, pencil chewing, paper tossing, and general horse play stops. She opens her mouth and students actually listen. Students understand her directions the first time they are given. Super Teachers students always pass standardized tests, even if they are a sub-group for Adequate Yearly Progress and No Child Left Behind.

Super Teacher is able to keep up with all licensing renewal requirements with a blink of an eye. She is so organized that nothing is ever misplaced. Her room is always clean and neat, with no paper balls under tables. Her room is also decorated with academically appropriate and attractive posters that never fall off walls or get drawn on by students. Her decorations also never fade from lights or sun.

In other words...Super Teacher is NOT from Earth...Nope, no way, no how!

---Stephanie