Family meeting (March)

Stephanie and I went to see Vincent in Indiana, for a family meeting. We had thought he might be coming home, but they wanted to do some more psychological testing – or await the results. Vincent was a little quiet or listless initially, perhaps in part because of his medication – or because of the bad mattresses, they said. Vincent said the second book his Mom had gotten him was so bad he’d spent a lot of time thinking. The three of us talked with Keisha, the social worker. She said Vincent had two diagnoses: impulse control problems and a general diagnosis of mood disorders. He’s been on medication and he is supposed to continue with that and at least every two weeks counseling and have a structured environment. The latter won’t be easy with the possibility of Vincent doing home-schooling and taking on-line classes at home while we’re at work. Stephanie has also been talking of the possibility of Vincent signing up with the IN county where she teaches version of adult-only, at-your-own-pace school. We also continued conversations of what we aspired for at home: Vincent doing his chores including cleaning up, making regular school progress, getting a job and paying token rent, monthly family meetings, all of us getting along better. Vincent wanted to get a job at “Lazer Blaze” after her turns 18 in 6 ½ weeks. But he also continued to talk about how he planned to move out as soon as he turns 18 (not noticing the inconsistency). One thing we didn’t talk about: I still want him to go to bed early, if only so we can go to bed on time; and yet I also don’t want to keep picking him up every night. He also talked about wanting us to bring his friend Samantha with us and hang out with her as he gets out, which we’re not big fans of and doesn’t make us feel good. He gave us a note to give to Sam. He left in time to have a sub that other kids (or staff) had gotten for him – dinner. From daily group therapy, meals, basketball, or whatever, he obviously had gotten to know. He and others come and go but two other kids had been there as long as he had. Although many of the professional staff were obviously not there on the weekends, Keisha and the psychiatrist had apparently seen Vincent on Friday but not then until starting on Monday. On the way out, Keisha showed us not only the activity room where Vincent ate (instead of in the cafeteria), a room (not Vincent’s – Stephanie said it looked like rooms in affordable motels like Knight’s Inn we’ve stayed in), and the gym.

We also talked about billing issues on the way out. They’ll call us back Friday or Saturday to set up a convenient time to take Vincent home. Vincent blew hot and cold about how long he’d be with us, said he’d been under tremendous stress before (partly trying to decide whether to try to go back to his school before he learned he had a 10-day – and probably much longer – instead of a 3-day – suspension. He said we’d get along neither worse nor better than we had been getting along in the meeting. He said he’d work on school, get a job in a couple of months, and do his chores. We’ll see.

P.S. Two big meetings next week, assuming Vincent comes home by the weekend: an 8 a.m. Monday meeting at the school district office (like the one in December) that will help determine Vincent’s schooling fate; and a 2:30 p.m. Friday meeting downtown with court workers that will decide whether Vincent’s gets charged in juvenile court as a result of events last week.

-- Perry