Ohio update

Grandpa Beck grew up with two brothers and a sister. His sister, Mildred, who I visited in Mt. Vernon in December, is up at the Cleveland Clinic, where she will have thyroid surgery today. His two brothers, Loren and Ronald, have been living in Outlook Manor, a nursing home near St. Ann’s Hospital in Westerville. Loren, who left his Delaware County home after his wife died, has dementia. Ronald was a wealthy engineer for the auto industry in Detroit. But he was estranged from the rest of his family, his wife died a number of years ago – until Loren went up about 10 years ago and rescued him. He was rich, alone, and dealing with behavioral health issues. Although Grandpa has four stepdaughters and many adoring grandchildren on our side of the family, Mildred has just one son and one grandson and Loren has just one adopted daughter, Jeannie, who we visited in Marietta some 15 years ago.

Ronald died early in the morning Thursday. Grandpa, Aunt Sandy, and Uncle Don had visited Loren and him this weekend.

But only Jeannie was around Thursday morning at the nursing home, as Aunt Sandy – out of sick leave from helping take care of Aunt June – was in the hospital in Marysville with Uncle Don, who was experiencing heart problems earlier this week, on top of other health problems. Sons and daughter-ins-law on Don's side of the family were keeping an eye on Grandpa in Don and Sandy's absence - a role I may take on for a few days later this summer. Later Friday Sandy took Grandpa, who already sees through only one eye, to the opthamologist - substituting for Don, who usually takes him.

Before leaving for the hospital, Sandy asked by e-mail for prayers for June. June goes for throat cancer treatment five times a week. But doctors say she has less than a year to live and Sandy says she seems a little depressed. June will find out on Saturday, June 20, whether her tumor has been shrinking and - by extension - whether treatment will continue (yes if yes; no if no). Sandy asked for prayers for daughter Diana too.

Son Dustin receives Supplemental Security Income checks and lives by himself in an apartment in Lancaster.

Ronald’s body is being cremated and family members have not yet scheduled a memorial service at a funeral home in Westerville. Click here for a tiny bit more information: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dispatch/obituary.aspx?n=ronald-d-beck&pid=128029688

We’re planning to see another family members who’s been fighting health problems, Grandma Mary, at a surprise 40th anniversary party for one pair of Stephanie’s uncle and aunts (Marvin and Pat) back up in Mt. Vernon late Saturday afternoon. I’ll hope to get a chance to watch or listen to the Belmont Stakes during the party. Go, Mine That Bird!

Lots of folks could use prayer in our family, but among them: Jeannie, Loren, Mildred, Grandpa (Marston), Don, Sandy, June, Diana, Dustin, Barb, Grandma Mary, Marvin, Pat, Bobby, Terree, Bob, and Nancy.

Ronald’s life and death also remind us of people’s struggles with behavioral health issues: from the musician whose story we watched last night in “The Soloist” to our friend Brant to close family members (including our son).

Ronald also reminds us of the specter of growing old and sick with no one around – something we fear if we have no more kids since we don’t know if Vincent will be a “dutiful son,” Stephanie is an only child, and I only have one sister, brother-in-law, and nephew who we aren’t able to spend a lot of time with. Koreans traditionally expect descendants to visit their graves – this is something that my first stepmother June, when she was very ill, feared would not happen – and, if our bodies or ashes are buried at Concord Cemetery or elsewhere – it’s hard to imagine who would do this regularly if at all.

-- Perry