Halloween weekend - from the day the Danes were to leave Louisville - through the Monday Stephanie was to leave for Guatemala - I had originally planned to take the four of us to attend an anime convention we had been to the year before in Covington, KY (see "Cincinnati"), outside of Cincinnati. But Vincent's grades continued to go south, and Stephanie had last-minute preparation - and it turns out we would very soon thereafter have another reason to head north - and so we stayed home. Monday afternoon - after getting Vincent to do some homework (this was a low moment in our relationship) - Vincent and I headed up Interstate 71 through the fall foliage of northern KY.
Passing the site of the anime convention (having just ended the night before), we headed down the hill into Covington, past the Main Strasse clock tower, and across the bridge into Ohio.
We had gotten a call on our answering machine in the middle of the week, letting us know that Vincent's great grandmother, Granny Love, with whom we had visited in May (after a year and half or so break) - she having moved from the home of one set of relatives to another after having some strokes - had died that week (the last Danes' week). Granny was one of the people from Vincent's father's side of the familiy that we stayed closest with. She took care of Vincent while Stephanie and Vincent's father's relationship was deteriorating (one of a series of friends and family members who took care of Vincent in Ohio before he went to institutional child care at age three) at her old house near the Ohio State fairgrounds. She essentially sided with Stephanie in our biggest court fight with Vincent's father, as she believed her granddaughters and great granddaughters who said Vincent's father had molested them. She helped me out with my dissertation research, and we stayed in touch with her as much as we could by mail and periodic Central Ohio visits. She was born - like Stephanie's grandmother - in West Virginia, moved up to the Columbus South End during the Depression - and her husband - Grandpa Love - was a pastor. Together, they were on the radio for years - long before I had met her. During the ten years I knew her - with various pets, in various homes - her health had slowly deteriorated. We had trouble tracking her down after she moved from Reynoldsburg to Orient - after she had some strokes. Staying in touch with Granny had helped us stay in touch with some other members of Vincent's father's side of the family - including witnesses and supporters at the trial - sometimes when Vincent's father was in the outs with this side of the family. This helped lead to oddities like Vincent's father and us doing a visitation transfer of Vincent at Granny's - when it wasn't clear he would have been able to see other family members for Christmas otherwise (and Vincent's father giving me a hug to thank me)- and the crowning oddity - us going to Vincent's father's parents' 50th wedding anniversary party - on the South End - which Vincent's father disappeared from half-way through - without - among other things- saying good-bye to Vincent. Granny was a sweet lady who had grown tired of her health problems in her final years, who loved her family and would stand up for them (and treated not only Vincent but also Stephanie and me as family). Thanks in part to our late departure, Vincent and I missed most of the hour before visitation - but arrived soon before the service (it was all on one day - just in two hours). When we arrived, not only was Vincent's father and some other family members not there - but there were a bunch of people I didn't recognize. We did recognize a picture of Granny and Grandpa Love - who died before I came on the scene - and so I never met him.
The memorial services included family members singing (see below) - including some we'd seen - with Granny - in North Carolina - some two or three years ago) and friends and family members leading prayer and preaching. It was an evangelical service - complete - if I remember right - with an altar call (although the first song sang was not particularly religious).
The seats were pretty packed, and so I sat off to one side - near Jennifer (one of our witnesses) and her family - and Vincent sat - perhaps predictably - off to another side - near his father's parents. Pictured below are the folks who sat in the middle - including some of the leaders of the service.
Pictured below are Jenny and one of her children.
Below is another of Jenny's children and the man she was there with (whom I unfortunately did not meet).
Note the box of Kleenex in front of the picture below, which I and others used liberally.
I tried to speak with Granny's two final hosts - Candy and Sue - and did a little - but Candy was beside herself and they had a throng of family members trying to comfort them. (But it was important to pay tribute to the person whose loss we were all grieving: Granny Love.) There was no food, and so Vincent and I ended up in - of all places - McDonald's - on 256. Arriving there, I called my Mother, and she said my aunt, Aunt June - who lives near 256 and near Stephanie's mother - was in a squad car - with head pain and high blood pressure. I hesitated for a moment - because I knew we would get home late - but I ended up dropping Vincent off at Barnes and Noble on 256 - not too far from Stephanie's mother's - and I drove off to Mt. Carmel West Hospital, where I found Aunt June in a curtained off room in the emergency room (although it took me a while to get in ).
Sitting in the room was Aunt June's sister and now housemate (recently moved back from Las Vegas, after getting divorced from Art), Aunt Barb, who has health problems of her own.
Also there was one of Aunt June's two surviving kids, Diana, a former colleague of Stephanie who introduced Stephanie and me to each other. Diana is an insurance company staff person in Columbus and lived at the time with her husband and their adoptive daughter and two foster kids in their new house way SW of Columbus. Her husbsand Jay himself has health problems. At this point we had not seen Diana's brother, Dustin, for quite a while.
June's body has been through quite a lot and doctors say she can't take any more surgery, and her body has rejected past transplants and the lot. This unfortunately was neither the first nor the last time June suffered from these blood pressure spikes (and blinding head pain) - they've continued with various theories - none have really panned out - about what might be the cause. (What has happened to June it turns out may not be that different from what happened to me a month plus later - though it only happened to me - so far - this once). June chatted with us - but - by the time I'd left after an hour or so - the medicine that relieved her pain had also put her to sleep.
Unfortunately, June has been in and out of the hospital several times since then and they still don't know what exactly is causing the blood pressure spikes and head pain (and some other health problems). The drive home didn't help Vincent and my health, stress levels, and sleep patterns. But I thought - since June was in a hospital a couple of miles away - I couldn't blow this opportunity to see her (Stephanie and I had driven up a year plus one day before - while Vincent was wrapping up the anime convention- to visit her while she had her own room at Mt. Carmel West). You might pray or think positive thoughts for peace and healing for June (as well as for Barb, for Dustin, and for Diana - who's had to deal in December with the loss of two foster kids - Eric and Rain - who had been with them for two or three years) (as well as for Candy, Sue, and Jennifer). (Click on play below to see - sideways, I'm afraid - a clip of a song at Granny's funeral.)
-- Perry
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