Saturday, June 14, 2008

Wednesday PM update

It was an up and down day today for my Mother. She went to a real bathroom – with help from occupational specialist Beverly – and walked much, much further than she’s walked since surgery – with help from physical therapist Vicki – in a circle through the PT gym near the nursing station. On the other hand, she continued to be tired and – when she tries to stand – weak and dizzy – and, like Carol on Monday, Vicki pushed Mom to push harder to bend her knee. Tuesday Patricia had let Mom get away with using the knee lifting machine only at 50 degrees. This morning Vicki actually pushed Mom’s knee (and bruised her in the process) and by the afternoon she was measuring Mom at 80 degrees. Mom also had to get up to use the bedside commode 3-4 times Tuesday night and this was trying. Today the staff gave Mom this medication to control her overactive bladder – to make it so she doesn’t have to feel like she has to go to the bathroom all the time – medication that Mom might continue after leaving rehab. On the other hand, we hope this doesn’t lead to accidents. Mom also didn’t eat that much for lunch, and the dietician missed her. Late today the staff was supposed to attend more to Mom’s dizziness. When I left, Mom was done with two rounds of physical therapy, and one round of occupational therapy (all that was left for the day besides naps was an hour or two of the knee up and down machine and dinner).

Mom’s neighbor down the hall, Martha Bishop – who’s headed to assisted living later this week, after having a stroke in May – stopped by during physical therapy. And visiting both Martha and my Mom was Norma Vorce (during occupational therapy), with whom I had lunch Sunday, and then – after I had left – our pastor, Brant Copeland – just back from Scotland. (We also visited a little bit more with Mom’s roommate Barbara.)

Watching Mom – dizzy and exhausted and in pain – this morning, I couldn’t help but think that maybe Mom should have done this sooner – when she was stronger (not wanting to interrupt her work was one reason why she’s waited). I also wondered if there’s any chance Mom won’t go through with the follow-up knee replacement because she’s had so much trouble with this one.

It was sad to watch Mom in pain, dizzy, and depressed – and occasionally flirting with giving up. It’s also tough to watch Mom seem frail, drained, and occasionally depressed and/or grumpy in ways that she doesn’t really seem herself. Right after surgery – even though she was coming off a pain medication – some of that was that local anesthesia/nerve block – talking with her was like talking with her normally. The euphoria she felt than about having survived the surgery and having woken up not in agonizing pain has given way to the slow realization that her recovery journey is going to be slow and difficult and possibly incomplete (much like our realization about Iraq) – and this is hard for all of us to deal with.

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